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Review #4499443
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Review by Past Member 'blimprider'
Rated: | (5.0)
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*BalloonR*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon"  *BalloonR*


         Good morning, Linn Browning , and welcome to WdC. You know me from "Invalid Item"  so I'll dispense with all the introductory remarks and get right to it. This is a marvelous piece of writing. The protagonist's backstory, the bar where she lands, the wonderful, end-of-the-line characters who inhabit it are magical. This reminds me of older works, the way the master storytellers used to quietly, stealthily draw you in until you realized that you were hooked, and there was no way that you weren't going to finish that story. I'm going to forego my usual template here, because I want to write from the heart. The story deserves it.
         Allow me to offer a bit of my own story. My mother didn't raise me because life on the road with a professional gambler is no way to raise a child. But I knew her, and I loved her. She was in many ways more like a big sister to me. I loved being with her when she was in town, and she would sometimes take me to her haunts, not to gamble, of course, but when she had to conduct business, or just to "show me off." The point is, I recognize this bar. I've been in here, I've met these people. This is "real" in a way that very few stories are. I've been told by a number of reviewers that my strongest areas are my characters and my dialogue. That said, I'm reading this and thinking, "I should learn to write like that!" You finish this, polish it to a high luster, and it could really take you places.
         I'm supposed to offer a "critique" as the main focus of a review. Alas, I have nothing to criticize, and no suggestions for improvement to offer. This is great! As so often happens in the morning, I have the world to do around here, but you can bet that I'll be back for more of this, day by day, until I've finished it. And I strongly suggest that you finish it as well. This is exceptional, a cut above, and is a valuable piece of work in your portfolio. Wherever you want to go as a writer, this could help take you there. Let me read the rest of it, and see what conclusions I can draw.

         So, I've offered no criticism, and have nothing to apologize for. As a 70-year old man who's been writing to entertain others for 60 of those years, I will offer the advice I've learned: Don't forget to have the fun! So many young and beginning writers get so caught up in the daily word count, the quest for publication, and the often conflicting advice of other writers that they forget to enjoy the journey. You may or may not become the next Big Celebrity Author, but you will always have the experience. Make sure it's a good one!

Read well, and write better,
*Hotair2* Jack

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/20/2019 @ 3:55pm EDT
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