*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4499488
Review #4499488
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Rduane!
This isn't too bad for a short FF piece. Flatulence might be a taboo subject, but alas, it's part of life and we have to deal with it.
I like how described Ornell (someone with a low tooth count but even lower IQ *Laugh*, and the spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!). But the ending was pretty melodramatic. You still had a few words to use, so it would have been nice to know what his little 'trick' was to remedy his gaseous malady.
To be honest, I honestly think you could expand on this! It might not be for everybody, but I'm sure there's a few people out there like me that would read it. Just think of the all the strange situations you could put him in when his problem arises!
One thing you forgot about this was to use the prompt phrase: “give me one good reason”.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

PSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4499488