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Review #4499575
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (3.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, TrivialMorose!
This isn’t bad for a short FF piece. It’s simple and to the point. Apparently this isn’t the first time Barry has stayed out late, but I guess it’s the last. At least with Daria. And for those folks who are completely blinded with love, it really can be the end of everything.
Good spelling and grammar, and you did a good job with the prompt phrase, but this seemed a bit anticlimactic. There just wasn’t any ‘oomph’, so to speak.
If you enter this contest again, let me give you a little hint (since I used to enter it a lot years ago): The owner/judge, Arakun the Twisted Raccoon, really appreciates surprise/twisted endings.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Trivial Morose, and welcome to WdC! If you like to writing, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4499575