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Review #4503317
Viewing a review of:
Paris for the last time  [E]
A day trip to Paris turns into a tourist's nightmare.
by Phil Thomas
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Phil Thomas!
For being new to writing (as you say), I thought this was pretty good. You've certainly made a lot of people think twice about travelling, especially to a foreign country! *Laugh*
This almost sounds like a satirical movie, where if something can wrong, everything goes wrong! Heck, I have a hard enough just living in my own hometown! I wouldn't even want to think about what would happen if I went overseas! *Laugh*
Comments and suggestions:
'at 7am(.) Before boarding' (New sentence)
'Calm, breath(e), think' (breath is noun, breathe is a verb, which is what I think you were going for here, right?)
Otherwise, good job, and thanks for the laughs, although I guess this wouldn't be so funny if it really happened to you!
My only other suggestion would be to possible enlarge the font to make it easier to read.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Phil, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.
PSS-You're only a few months older than I am, and my hometown is up north in Weed, CA. I'm currently in TX (please don't ask me why *Sad*), but I'm coming home next year (Thank God!)

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The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
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