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Review #4503994
Viewing a review of:
 ðŸŒŠSIREN CALL🌊  [E]
Do you believe in fairy tales or reality? Come & swim with me to find out.
by BlackBird
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Blackbird!
For your first piece on here, I thought this was pretty good! It's a little bumpy in that we're not sure how she could have killed her beloved prince since she was foam--I think you could give a little more detail about that--but I like the premise of it.
Also, you kind of jumped right into this with her suddenly falling off the ship. Maybe some back story would help.
Overall, I think you've got something here. You just need to smooth it out and go into a little more detail with it, and perhaps expand on it.
It's obvious you like to write (I read your port intro), and I can tell you're anxious and excited to start filling up your portfolio! There's no time like the present, and I'd like to see some of your stories!
As for your English, it's actually pretty good.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Blackbird (that's my way of saying 'Keep on writing on' by the way *Bigsmile*), and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
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