Hi, Kit_Carmelite !

          Overall +/- :
My thoughts on the piece as a whole...

         Hello there! I'm here to review this lovely poem as a fellow participant in "I Write." I love the way you purposefully make use of repetition to create the lulling tone for this poem! The "This is my [X], this and no other" is powerful, and remains powerful when repeated.

          Rhythm & Flow:
Whether freeverse or tightly-structured formal poetry, flow is paramount.

         This is a freeverse poem without rhyme or meter that I can discern, but the repeated lines and the structure you've chosen make it feel like a litany or a solemn prayer. It's quite beautiful and flows well. I encountered no issues here.

          Language & Word Choice:
Because poetry is one of the briefer art forms, every word matters.

         Simple and strong language! I really just love the "[this] and no other" line. It really gives strength to each stanza and made the whole poem a joy to read. I also love that you acknowledge the struggles you might encounter along the way in stanza three with the "trials and pitfalls." The contrast makes the first two stanzas stronger and the affirmation of your determination to follow the path He has laid out for you all the more beautiful. Nice work!

          Things I liked :
Sometimes phrases or lines jump off the page.

In trials and pitfalls,
Alert and aware
This shadowed path - this and no other

          Suggestions:
Take them with a grain of salt.

He is my source - He and no other — Only if you want to: you can create an actual em-dash by holding the alt key and quickly pressing 0151 on your number pad. (ALT+0151 makes —) You can also use the writingML {emdash}, which creates —!

          In Closing:
Any final thoughts...

         Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem. It was my pleasure to read it.

Write On!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .