*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4504275
Review #4504275
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Howdy, Linda!
This isn’t bad, but it seemed a little rushed in terms of grammar. I like the premise of these kid breaking into the teacher’s office to retrieve a cartoon one of them didn’t want seen, only to be foiled by the cops at that last moment. I also like the irony that the teacher was also the kid’s father!
Would that help as an excuse for breaking and entering? Heck, it couldn’t hurt! *Laugh*
The spelling was good, and you did a nice job with the prompt phrase, but you were missing a few commas (and one exclamation point):
"Turn the flashlight on(,) don't let it shine on any of the windows.”
“...here we are(,) let's go...”
"Turn the flashligh on(,) don't let it shine...’
" Nice joke(,) turn on the flashlight."
"I can't(,) the batteries are dead."
"Run(,) it's the police’
"Young men(!) Stop! I said, Stop!"
Some of those comma could actually be periods since some of the phrases are sentences by themselves.
Otherwise, well done!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Linda, and have a spooktacular *Ghost* day! *Laugh*

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/14/2019 @ 6:02pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4504275