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Review #4508619
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Can You Guess My Name?  [13+]
The Rolling Stones said that. And now the Taboo Words Contest!
by Mastiff
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Pumpkin2* Hiya Mastiff! I found this in the "I Write in 2019" forum and could not resist reading to see how you fulfill the taboo challenge. It can be tricky. *Smile*

*Jackolantern* How wonderful! I love how you create a lively and vivid picture of the jackolantern without using the word or any taboo words that could be helpful. *Star* The mood is strong and your personification is well done. I could imagine the point of view of the jackolantern as he discusses his life! Brilliant. *Delight*

*Pumpkin*I had great fun reading this aloud with your effective rhyme and soundscape. Your word choice is impressive with the "ized" rhymes. *Salute* I had a good laugh as the tale has a comical vibe.

*Jackolantern* I am not familiar with the form and you have made it quite magical! *Laugh* The unique rhyme scheme adds interest and to the flow. I think the punctuation helps the read and I like the contrast of "tykes", "zombies" and "big boys."

I wondered about the necessity of the comma after "mesmerized" as it does connect with the next line. The pause does work with the rest of the piece though. I wondered if "they leave" should be future tense in keeping with line 7, as it has not happened yet. *Think*

*Starstruck* This is so entertaining and fulfills the parameters of the contest in a creative way. Thanks for sharing your vision, craft and knowledge of this form.

eyestar
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