Can You Guess My Name? [13+] The Rolling Stones said that. And now the Taboo Words Contest! |
Hiya Mastiff! I found this in the "I Write in 2019" forum and could not resist reading to see how you fulfill the taboo challenge. It can be tricky. How wonderful! I love how you create a lively and vivid picture of the jackolantern without using the word or any taboo words that could be helpful. The mood is strong and your personification is well done. I could imagine the point of view of the jackolantern as he discusses his life! Brilliant. I had great fun reading this aloud with your effective rhyme and soundscape. Your word choice is impressive with the "ized" rhymes. I had a good laugh as the tale has a comical vibe. I am not familiar with the form and you have made it quite magical! The unique rhyme scheme adds interest and to the flow. I think the punctuation helps the read and I like the contrast of "tykes", "zombies" and "big boys." I wondered about the necessity of the comma after "mesmerized" as it does connect with the next line. The pause does work with the rest of the piece though. I wondered if "they leave" should be future tense in keeping with line 7, as it has not happened yet. This is so entertaining and fulfills the parameters of the contest in a creative way. Thanks for sharing your vision, craft and knowledge of this form.
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