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Review #4509769
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: | (5.0)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, James F Martin!
Dang! Yeah, I'll say you need buy an air conditioner!
You did a great job of describing a MAJOR heat wave, and I love all those similes and metaphors used! Normally I'd say you went a little overboard with them, but since I think you wrote this while suffering from heat stroke, I'll let that go. *Laugh*
At first I was wondering if this a story or not, but then I realized that you were describing the condition in your apartment, so I was glad you had an appropriate ending! And what an ending it was!
You've got one heckuva vocabulary, I'll give you that!
A couple of tiny niggles (sorry to be so picky!):
'sparing on the lawn' (sparring?)
'Barbers cut through the humid air with their best shears(,) leaving snippets...'
Otherwise, well done!
Kee ponw ritin gon, James, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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PPPS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

Rawrrrr...

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/16/2019 @ 8:56pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4509769