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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4511124
Review #4511124
Viewing a review of:
 Gemini  [13+]
A feeling of or lack of feeling in control of your own thoughts.
by Displeased
Review of Gemini  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Gemini! (Castor and Pollux rule! *Bigsmile*)
Huh. For your first item on here, this is kind of different. OK, a LOT different, but I also thought it was pretty good!
I don't think you're really losing control of your own thoughts since this does make sense, even if it's coming from the mind of mad man. The fact that you want to 'erupt' is something some of us go through every day, mainly because we just get 'fed up'.
Yes, I know you're probably using this metaphorically (at least I hope so, otherwise you'd be in a lot of trouble for what you did to that village and those poor people! *Laugh*), but I like the way you told it: short and simple and directly to the point.
Not bad, Gemini, not bad at all. The spelling and grammar was flawless, and that ending summed everything up perfectly. In fact, I think you could expand on this and get a whole story out of it if you wanted. Maybe not write it in the first person P.O.V. though...
Kee ponw ritin gon, Gemini, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and you certainly have potential!), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.


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