%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4513885 |
 | The Christmas Puppy  [18+] Evil vs Evil  |
| Howdy, Max! This is cool! It has Christmasy fantasy flavor to it (maybe cuz the kid wakes up and believes he's seeing Santa?). To be honest, you kind of had me going in two different directions for a bit when the kid said he'd been 'bad', considering your story was supposed to be about evil vs. evil. I figured the evil robber was going to meet his match with the 'bad' kid! Guess that's what I get for 'figuring', huh?  It actually had a happy ending with Frank 'seeing the light' (so to speak) when he remembered what his own father did to him as a kid. And personally, I like the 'evil with principles' reputation you gave to Frank. Even the  has a soft spot in his  ! As for using the word 'extrinsic', I thought you did a great job with it! I'd be burning the midnight oil for a week trying to think of how to use that word! A couple of tiny niggles: Is that when you 'fell down(,") (',") He knew the the tricks all too well. Nice job, my friend! Don't know if this is going to help or not, but I think this is just fine as it is. Kee ponw ritin gon, Max! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a fantastic day/evening/tomorrow!
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You responded to this review 11/09/2019 @ 1:08pm EST