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Review #4514035
Viewing a review of:
 Caffadel's Cure  [13+]
A traveler visits a town with an odd cure for headaches.
by Slam
Review of Caffadel's Cure  
Review by Past Member 'blimprider'
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon"  *LeafO*


         Good morning, Slam , and welcome to WdC.
         For the record, my real name is Jack Tyler, and I am a former steampunk author who has transitioned to horror, but I try to review a wide variety of styles and genres. While I have a few books in print, I am neither a famous author nor a renowned critic. I'm just a guy with an opinion that I'm here to share, and if you disagree with anything I say here, remember that the only opinion that matters is yours.
         I have read your bio and understand that your main purpose for writing is to practice your English, so I'm not going to worry about your story construction, character development, or any of those other things that are usually the focus of WdC reviews. As a native English speaker, I'm going to give you my honest opinion of your command of the language.
         I have to say, your command of the language is as good as nearly any native speakers I encounter on here. Spelling, grammar, punctuation, and word usage is all excellent. I will offer a couple of minor suggestions, but these are tiny points that don't detract in any way from the flow of the story.
         First, in this sentence, "Jonathan got a headache!" would read more smoothly as "Jonathan's got a headache," or "Jonathan has a headache." Of course, this is dialogue, and people often speak ungrammatically, so this might be just as you intended.
         Second, this sentence, I sense that the demons have left Jonathan alone. This might read a bit more smoothly as "I sense that the demons have left Jonathan," or "I sense that the demons will leave Jonathan in peace." Again, this is dialogue, and the man might speak ungrammatically. Whatever the case, this is fine work, and a credit to your teachers. They taught you well, and you learned some good lessons. My congratulations to you. Whether you become a writer or not, your skill with the language should serve you well.

Wishing you all the best,
*Hotair2* Jack "Blimprider" Tyler

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