*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4515768
Review #4515768
Viewing a review of:
 
Dreaming  [E]
dryads, written for the Writer's Cramp
by ridinghhood-p.boutilier
Review of Dreaming  
Review by ruwth
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

May God bless both of us as we grow as writers together!


"I Write in 2019 has me reviewing your item today! *Wink*

Using the prompt "Certain things had moved in the night", you wrote;

Certain things had moved in the night.
There was a crack of branches
and the cry of trees
heavy with burls, full-laden with buds.
Dryads gathered...


You wrote more but I think the part about dreams takes away from the beauty of your poem.

The words I have included here work so well together and do justice to the prompt, as well.

You do need a space before the word full-laden. I added it in the above rendition.

I must admit, I had to google burls and dryads but both connect to the trees.

Do dreams connect with dryads? If so, there is a connection I missed.

Even so, I suggest changing the title and taking out the last part. Stopping with the dryads gathering...or maybe awakening seems more poignant to me.

I really love the idea: trees, branches breaking, burls, dryads. A cool way to use the prompt.



You have been reviewed by a member of
the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4515768