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 Review #4515812 |
   |  | ruwth is writing...  [18+] I will be adding stories & reflections as time marches on. Take a gander today!  |
| (4.0)| Hello, I'm Mastiff, and I'm going to review your work! I'm just an amateur, so take it all with a grain of salt, as it's just my opinions. Thank you for sharing your writing, and I appreciate being able to read it.  First impression: At first I didn't quite get it, but then I read the contest rules and it made sense. I got the references, but I didn't know the reason for them. An interesting little piece! Things That Might Make It Better: I think you might have used a bit more of your 300 word count to tie everything up. It's fine as it stands, but it would be nice to know who is saying what. Mechanics: Para. 1 Ln. 2 - I'd put the second sentence on it's own line, and and a close parenthesis. Para. 2 Ln. All - I think this is also someone speaking, so it needs quotes. I think this goes for all the next paragraphs. Para. 5 Ln. 1 - I think you want a comma after "rescued" and "princess." Overall - Not too bad, just needs a little bit of editing. Things I Like:It was a good selection of fairy tales that really do have a common thread. Adherence to Contest Rules:It looks like you covered all of the items well. Good work!  Overall OpinionA very unusual contest, and you handled it well. Tying four fairy tales together in such a short piece isn't an easy task! Mastiff 
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