Hi Raem,
This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of impatience and sorrow. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if the star will be able to find its way home. They will read to the last word to find out. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. In the story, a star wonders the galaxy on her own because she feels neglected. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. I loved stories which personify inanimate objects. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)The shining star ventured through the darkness but did not feel like she was in the dark.-There should be a comma after "darkness".

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.