Hello Roseille, I followed you at I Write and have the privilege of reading and reviewing your Composite Parts. Admittedly the title said nothing to me but your first line grabbed me and compelled me to read on. Wow, the whole first strophe stems the tone and draws a line in the sand. Powerful.

The next stop he was interesting though my mind had a little trouble seeing the images until the almost grotesque image of the “red, glossy slash of a grin”, another power phrase. followed by teeth meant to bite, ouch.

i like the repetition in subsequent strophes “I am not”, This is quite a rant. I think it would have even more power if it was condensed a bit.

I do wonder about your last line. The speaker seems so in charge through out the entire piece but the last line seems to ask to permission to be released. i would think any one this strong would instead say, I’m gone! or Get out! depending on where she wants to be. it is your poem, use whatever you find helpful and ignore the rest.Just thinking out loud.

This is a poem that has to to be listened to, but runs the risk of being tuned out because it may say too much. But all in all well written.

~~Tink





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .