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Review #4517995
Viewing a review of:
 If I was Afraid of the Dark  [E]
This is what would scare me if I was afraid of the dark
by Detective
Review by Choconut
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Detective ,

I am reviewing this on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . It is also part of "I Write in 2019" .

Please remember these views are purely my own and any advice is given with the sole intention of being helpful.

First Impressions: I'm not sure what the prompt was for this poem, but I assume was to write about what scares you about the dark? I have to admit, I can relate to this poem. I have never liked the dark, and the thought of ghosts and ghouls scares me a lot.

Voice/Tone: The tone is dark and slightly sinister. I note your line (the prompt line?) which repeats is, "If I was afraid of the dark." After reading this poem, it makes me think you are a little afraid of the dark, and by saying, "If I was ..." you can pretend you aren't. Again, very relatable.

Mechanics: This poem is free verse, with the refrain that I mention above. Free verse works well. I like the three-line verses. I think they make the message come across as powerful. They are punchy, and I like that. The rhythm is good. There is a nice pace.

My Favourite Part: The verse which begins, "My imagination would run wild" is my favourite. The "creeps and spooks everywhere" is a freaky thought, but it is exactly how it works when you are in the dark and you have a fear of it.

Suggestions: I'm not sure about the second verse. "Nothing would look like what it is / It would all look like what it isn’t." This isn't very descriptive. It doesn't show the reader anything in particular. Also, the first line is quite awkward in its wording. I would work on this verse if you ever want to revise this poem.

I really enjoyed reading this poem. It is one I can relate to a lot, and I think you have captured the fears associated with the dark brilliantly.


Keep writing!

Choconut

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