I'm not going to call this a review, exactly; instead, I'm going to point to some issues that I feel make it not yet ready to be reviewed. I'll be glad to look at it again, once you address the issues I raise, and we'll just consider the revisit a continuation of the same project. Drop a notice in my review forum (click the logo image) and I'll give you a critique on the content. You offered a generous quantity of GP's for my services, and I don't think this will be giving you quite what you were paying for. So installment two will be free. Make a separate item for the revision.

I did not get past the Introduction before finding what I consider to be crippling errors, the kind that one has no reasonable exception will correct themselves further on in the text.

First, get rid of the centered lines. They are an unnecessary distraction and no editor, upon seeing your text thus formatted, will give it any further consideration. So let's have some paragraphs, flush left, no indents, extra space between each one. And give us a new paragraph with each new speaker.

Next, and perhaps more urgent, get your tenses in order. For the most part it seems to be in present tense first person, which is a respectable POV, often used. Unfortunately, you salt just enough sentences throughout in past tense to make it sound like you haven't paid attention. Again, an editor, upon encountering the first such example, won't wait around to see if there are any more. This is what I'm talking about :

When I get to the appointed spot, they weren't there. Present tense would be aren't.

Next, pay attention to the order in which the elements of your sentences are presented. Be absolutely clear about independent and dependent clauses. And know who your subject is, and what they are doing.

Nearing the city limits, the cloak of the forest greeted me like an old friend.

Most likely the forest and its cloak haven't moved for many years. You are the one moving, but the sentence doesn't make that point. Try this:

As I neared the city limits, the cloak of the forest greeted me like an old friend.

I'm more than willing to grant an author creative license where rules of grammar and syntax are concerned, if such bending of convention creates a desired mood. Here, I'd say no.

In the center lies my last-ditch plan. A stolen military-grade helicopter.

Using a sentence fragment is no improvement on correct usage, and it just feels wrong.

In the center lies my last-ditch plan—a stolen military-grade helicopter.

One of the reasons you'd choose the first-person present POV is for economy and immediacy. So keep in mind: everything the reader encounters, they encounter through your main character's senses. If a thing is thought, we know she's doing the thinking. If it is felt, heard, smelt, seen or remembered, we know who's responsible. Likewise this:

As I reach to start it, I notice the key missing.

Obviously she notices it. As Travis Bikel so memorably put it in Taxi Driver, "There's no one else here."

Wrap all such data inputs into the flow of exposition.

I reach to start it, but the key missing.

Similarly, quoted internal monologue is clumsy and betrays the effect of the statements being internal in the first place.

I can’t shake off the feeling saying “Something’s not right. You don't need to do this”.

This sounds like she's chatting with an imaginary friend. For my money, this is not a case of swapping one word for another. I'd rewrite the entire thought.

Something feels wrong.

I like the energy of your prose and you don't waste any time with flaccid exposition. This is good. But avoid needlessly shooting yourself in the foot. The only time you want the writing itself to intrude on the reader's experience is if they pause to think, "Gosh, I wish I'd written that." Rookie blunders like I've pointed out will simply discourage them from reading, and it won't take long.