Dear Christine,
I really enjoyed this poem and all it represents. You do well to share your feelings about the beauty of a sunrise and connecting emotions and visual representations in words.

Looking over your offering inspires me to play with the themes (the colors on your word palette) to structure a few verses myself:


Squirrels scamper
hoard their treasures
like gold in the trees; and
soaring birds reach up to Heaven,
sweetly sing attuned amid
the greens on swaying branches.

Listen --
quiet whistling
invisibly hurled
inside sunrise cacophony --
An unknowable language
I yearn to learn; perhaps,
He speaking to us.

So much to play with in your poem. You reach beyond color to sounds and activity of nature. You could include smells brought forth by approach or the wind.

It helps a reader to know what you are thinking. What's more fun is to approach a poem, as if you've tied your hands behind your back (a metaphor), saying you could show what you feel, experience, tease without telling too much.

Your/My brain uses evidence of what is perceived by applying senses. What if you use those raw, evidentiary facts to construct the scene and apply imagination to describe. Describe colors without using their words; maybe, how they blend and how sunrise dapples parts of your vista.

You could describe feelings associated to activities. How our breath could leave us by sudden, excited movement -- which reminds to be in the moment, use active verbs, directly connect modifiers to other words. How we describe can make a reader feel what we want, what we felt.

You've assembled some great images, punctuated by feelings of Christianity (so sorely lacking in today's world). The perfect vehicle is nature, because what remains pristine and perfect to us was given by Him.

Thank you so much for sharing this and visiting my writing today. You are a friend now. I appreciate your encouragement.

Brian



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .