*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4523852
Review #4523852
Viewing a review of:
 A Few Questions  [13+]
An officer has a few questions for a hotel guest.
by Detective
Review of A Few Questions  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Salutations, Detective!
This isn't bad. I like the hotel visitor's explanation, and it does offer a somewhat humorous excuse for how he ended up in that situation, but the ending kind of fell a little flat. At least for me, anyway, for what that's worth. It kind felt like you rushed the ending a bit. Don't get me wrong: I know you only had 500 words to use (I'm not sure how many you did use, though), but the way the cop let him off at the end seemed too easy, especially after that supernatural explanation.
I guess maybe I was expecting a more shocking ending...
Good spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
"... so my in-laws, her parents(,) booked us a stay here..."
Kee ponw ritin gon, Detective! Have a great New Year, and good luck in the contest!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

Angel Army Sig

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/07/2020 @ 10:33pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4523852