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Review #4525673
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (3.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Salutations, Crossedout!
This isn’t bad for your first piece on here.
I think this is more of a commentary on your character’s writing ability than anything else, but I can still his frustration about Kate’s comments. At least the guy was trying!
And judging by your descriptions of Kate’s fixation on his hand movements (‘she felt a giddy rush as the pace of his words turned up a notch’), I think she might have a crush on this dude!
Overall, not bad, my friend. The ending was a little ambiguous since we’re not going to know if he ever finished his story (or novel!), but the spelling and grammar was great.
Comments and suggestions (Believe me, I’m not trying to cut you down like Kate did! *Bigsmile*):
‘blustery’ is an adjective, not an adverb
“What’s your point though?” She asked...’ (she—speech tag niggle—if you need some on info on them, here’s a link)

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

Kee ponw ritin gon, Crossedout, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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