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Review #4527455
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.5)
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Wuzzup, Hullabaloo!
This isn't bad, and it's a pretty original idea, at least one I haven't come across. Having somebody start a business or God-knew-what in an old building without any advertising would certainly be a cause for investigation, and I can see why your character's curiosity was so high. I'm just not sure why so many people would want to get inside so fast (like a crowd on Black Friday)!
Regardless, you did good job of telling this, and that ending was great! How come it's always the children? Even I know not to trust a kid! *Laugh*
Great spelling and grammar, and excellent use of the non-existent prompt! *Laugh*
Comments and suggestions:
'and the delivering off stock'
'It was one of those signs that could be flipped over to say instead: 'Open'.' (don't really need this)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Hullabaloo, and good luck in the contest! I shall announce the winner as soon as I finish reading the other stories!

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