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Review #4533223
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.0)
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Hi, Stacie.
This isn’t bad. You did a good job of telling us how Miley acts and some of the funny things she does, but it was a little hard to follow. There’s quite a few sentences that need commas, some of the sentences were run-ons (in other words, they overlapped each other), and your sentence structure was awkward.
Don’t get me wrong; I like the examples you used, but the way you told it was bumpy. I think if you polished this up (commas, periods, apostrophes) it could be better.
‘every-time’ (every time)
‘...Miley began to venture out and started getting comfortable so Miley wanted cat TV which the window blinds open.’ (This is kind of an awkward sentence-missing word(s)? Wrong words?)
‘All in all she’s a good cat(,) (period-new sentence) for the past year and a half, she has always been by Dave (my fiancé) ever since he’s came home from the hospital (period-new sentence) and every cat(,) (no comma) I knew would just walk away (comma-new sentence) but not this cat, she would stay with Dave. I have never seen a cat do that in my life.’
When it comes to commas, this might help. Say the sentence out loud, and when you hear yourself pause, that’s usually where a comma should go. Not always, but most of the time.
Please know these are just suggestions and no way are meant as any criticism of your writing. We’re all here to help other become better writers.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Stacie. Thanks for sharing this, and congratulations on your promotion to Preferred Author!

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