Lights Out [13+] Science Fiction Short Story Contest Entry |
Bon jour, Black Adder! I don't read sci/fi as much as I used to, but I thought this pretty good. I like the idea of this city-wide blackout causing all that turmoil and upheaval (which could happen even in this present day!) and you and your friend Rohan coming to the rescue. You had to face some formidable enemies and obstacles to be successful, but you managed to save the town, although you couldn't save every one in it, including your I.T. roommate. You did a nice job with the descriptions, and your prose was natural and smooth. I also enjoyed how you started this out with a quick comment about how things used to be 'back then'. The ending seemed just a bit rushed, but since I see this was for a contest, I'm guessing that was because you had word limit. If so, I can't fault you there! Been there, done that! Excellent spelling and grammar, but I do have a few comments and suggestions: 'The station was near a mile a way (away) 'Rohan and I walked the nearby hill, and climbed the fence, then stalked towards the dark gatehouse.' '...and then I grabbed a rock(,) and threw it through the window, ignoring...' Otherwise, good job! Kee ponw ritin gon, Black Adder! Thanks for sharing this, and congratulations on your promotion to Preferred Author!
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