Hello Raven !
This is your local and frolic like Sb here. I came across your piece by stumbling upon your port and I'm reviewing for The Angel Army today. Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- I was drawn to this item in particular because of the title, 'Fear.' Who doesn't have fears? And what are they? What does it feel like? And what does it mean to tackle this subject poetically? I gotta say you did a good job tackling this subject in your poem.

I noticed you used run more than once in your poem, and I would maybe suggest alternating between different adjectives to describe it? Like say: escape, sprint, gallop, ... what have you.

I would maybe even say you could expand upon this poem if you wanted. What does fear feel like? Why do you want to run and hide from it? You could definitely go into metaphors of describing it and tackling it if you wanted to. These are just suggestions for you to play with if you want.

Rhyming/Rhythm

Your poem is mainly free-style except for the bit of rhyme with an AABC pattern at the end of it. It flows smoothly from one stanza to the next and I didn't really find any catch in the rhythm of your poem. It seemed to follow around the same syllable count for each line so this made it smoothly transition.

Things Which I Enjoyed
I enjoyed that you tackled this difficult subject of fear. I was wondering what maybe prompted this poem? What event made you feel it in particular? Though I do really enjoy that by the end of the poem, no matter that you don't know where you will go, you choose to move onward despite the fear that has happened. So, instead of running, or hiding, you face it.

Overall Comments
Overall, this is a piece that you could tinker and play with if you wanted to. I could definitely see this expanded with metaphors, meaning, what it feels like with this fear, and what caused it. Just different suggestions for you if you wanted to expand or use them. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .