Hello Chained !

This is your local and frolic like Sb here. I came across your item randomly and I'm reviewing for The Angel Army. Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- I really love that this poem is about your Father. That's what drew me to it and also I really like the introduction you have for your port when you visit and the picture you chose for it.

The only part I have a suggestion for is this: He follows his right that makes him charming.

I would say that with this part I might play with it so that the syllable count for this is shorter. The rest of the poem has a more condensed, similar syllable count and so I would maybe suggest removing the that, and maybe add a comma in place? Or rewording it like Following his right makes him charming. Just little suggestions for you to play with.

Rhyming/Rhythm
This was mainly a poem with a ABCB scheme so you followed this certain scheme and kept it consistent throughout the poem. I feel like all of it flowed very nicely from one line to the next and with each stanza it kept consistent except for the one spot I pointed out at about the middle of your poem. Besides that, smooth reading, and it all flows nicely.

Things Which I Enjoyed
I really loved that you wrote this about your father. I can feel your admiration, love, care for him so strongly with this poem that you wrote. There's a strong feel of pride, and I especially enjoyed how you ended the poem. Saying that you are more than happy to be his kind. He sounds like a man that can conquer things so easily, that leads by example, and you're happy to follow that example. It's a sweet, heart-warming, wonderful little tribute. And, I'm very happy I came across it. I especially enjoyed how the dimensions bend to his mind.

Overall Comments
Overall, this is a wonderful little tribute and this poem is filled with love. There's a lot of heart to this and admiration for your father and it reads clearly in this piece. I only have the small suggestion for you but besides that nothing else. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .