Hello SailorMoon303 !

This is your local and frolic like Sb here. I came across your item randomly and I'm reviewing for The Angel Army. Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- I think this is a great concept for a poem, using the broadway lights to start it off. I was drawn into your poem immediately with that metaphor to start things off. You do a good job connecting this metaphor throughout the length of your poem.

I have one suggestion point right here: I'm walking through a passive aggressive street while he wishes to greet anyone but me.

With this above line it might be better to break it up, but this is just a suggestion. It reads the longest so it's the only part where the flow kind of hitches. Besides that, passive-aggressive needs a hyphen in-between.

Honestly, besides that I don't have very much or any to suggest with this poem of yours. You do a great job with rhythm, rhyming, and everything flowing. I didn't see anything else to tinker with.

Rhyming/Rhythm
This poem seemed to follow an innate rhyming throughout the length of it that made the ease of reading it even easier. It moved smoothly from one line to the next and held onto that rhythm throughout the length of it. The only point I can find is the one I mentioned above, besides that, smooth sailing and reading throughout it.

Things Which I Enjoyed
I really enjoyed that you kept a very consistent and pleasant rhythm to this poem that made it a pleasure to read. You also did a great job with metaphors, rounding off the poem with being hung by the rope at the end. Your rhyming wasn't forced and it didn't feel like you were using a word to just keep the rhyming going which is quite hard with pieces that DO rhyme. You can almost pick a word because it is a rhyme versus the meaning, it didn't feel like that in your poem.

Overall Comments
Overall, this is was a fun read to come across and I was glad I was able to read and review it. There's only the one small suggestion I have for you that I pointed out that you can use if you like. I thought your metaphors were on point and I loved the decay line as a favorite line, that was great. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .