Hello MirandaCookies COLLEGE SOON !

This is your local and frolic like Sb here. I came across your item randomly and I'm reviewing for The Angel Army. Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- I've had some night anxieties hit me when I go to sleep. Not for awhile, but I've had my heart racing, mind running with the same tenacity and pace it seems like. So, that's why I chose this poem when I went to your folder of poetry that you have. You start this off quick, concise, and it draws you in quickly. Especially with the last line of the first stanza being how your blood turns to liquid fire.

The only suggestion I have is with the third stanza. This one reads longer with the syllables than the other stanzas which are very quick and fast paced. As a suggestion, I would maybe suggest cutting down some words to have that quickness kept with the rhythm of your poem. But, this is just a tinker point you can play with if you want.

Rhyming/Rhythm
This was a free-style poem that moved very quickly and had a nice pace to it. I feel like anxiety poems generally do read a little faster, like our thought process being like a caged rabbit that can't escape. So, this fit the mood of your poem perfectly. The only part that it hitched only a little was the one stanza I mentioned above. There is a bit of rhyming near the second to last stanza which was smartly done and definitely added to the smoothness of reading it.

Things Which I Enjoyed
I really loved how you have such an emotional impact with this poem. I could definitely 'feel' what you were writing, if that makes sense. Like I said before, I can and have had quite a bit of anxiety when I sleep at times. The head racing, heart-pounding, blood turning to quicksilver it seems. You convey this well and strongly. You also finish it strong with the hanging up, whispering apologies, this is really great.

Overall Comments
Overall, I really enjoyed this poem of yours! I have to come back to read more of your writing and I'll be sure to favorite you and this folder to see what you add to it. This was a strong delivery of emotions with this night anxiety that you suffered from. There are a lot of favorite lines with this and I'm glad I came across it. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .