Hi jolanh , I found your writing at your request. Hopefully, this review will find you in good spirits.

On Title/Subject
Good suggestive title for this first chapter of your novel. It is explained on the first page that it's the name of the changed Ethan. An interesting subject for a fantasy.

General impressions
I had to read it twice before I got it right. Especially the part at the beginning where you introduce Ethan and immediately the story begins with his changing into something else or somebody larger than himself. Perhaps you can add a few lines to groom the reader into this changement. Now it is a sudden change and the reader is in it too fast. Slow down the story a bit in the beginning so you as a writer take your reader by the hand.

But, that said I found the story very captivating. You have a writing style that is chunky and not smooth so, I had to adjust to that and learn to like it. At the end of the story, I was familiarized with your style. It grew on me.

Favorite Parts
A closer look at the semi pious and downright bored faces of the assembly will show a young man squirming uncomfortably in his seat.

Very descriptive. I could see the congregation in the service before my mind's eye.

Suggestions
The first word of the story: It was a Sunday, ...

Read your story out loud. Are the sentences working with each other? Are your verbs the right tense? What is the reason some of your paragraphs feel chunky and not smooth? Is it your writing style or can you change some lines for better reading? Just some thoughts.

Final thoughts
An interesting chapter to a larger story. It's captivating enough to want to read more. Thanks for sharing.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .