Hi Mr. Midnight , I found your writing at WdC General Discussion. Hopefully, this review will find you in good spirits.

On Title/Subject
Well-chosen title. Turning the story into an adventure.

General impressions
Nice touch to start with the cat. Homey feel to it. I presume the cat, Marty, and the girl are characters we will see back later in the story?
I loved the description of the gaming activity. Am not a gamer myself but I think your YA audience is all up to that kind of thing. And enlightening to all us non-gamers.
Good flow, interesting developments, nice pace. Dialogs are sound.
Nice invention, "OurTube". lol.

Favorite Parts
Twenty minutes later, Peter was pinned down on the second floor of a dilapidated building with bullets raining down everywhere. He seemed to be the only one in the game who was low on ammo. He mowed down two heavy gunmen in the street with his AK-47 before going on to kill two snipers by lobbing a grenade into the second story window from across the street and into the room they were in. He killed the last two in the lobby of that building with his famous flash-and-clear tactic that he practiced often with his friend Mercer. By then, the rest of the enemy team began to respawn around him and he took cover upstairs.

So, that's what you all doing all day gaming for hours!

Suggestions
I didn't understand the word "stefs" in the first paragraph. Some kind of slang? NY style? Be careful with dialects. They can be distracting if not used properly. But I liked the way Marty talks.

What is SSDD? I forgot to ask in the first chapter. Clarify, please.

Final thoughts
Good enough chapter with the first encounter of the bad guy in the story, that company. I am interested in where that leads Peter. We'll find out in the following chapters.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .