Hi Mr. Midnight , I found your writing at your request. Hopefully, this review will find you in good spirits.


On Title/Subject
Great title. I totally missed this chapter so I am doing it now. The sequence is now a little bit off since I just reviewed chapter 5 but who cares. The chapters are readable on their own, aren't they? The subject is a further exploration of Marty's character, and the girl's character and the introduction of Mercer's character.

General impressions
A lot of dialogs, less action but I think that's necessary for the novel as a whole?
The subject of gaming was again interesting, as was the first entrance to the building of that company.

Favorite Parts
The landlord was a six and a half foot tall, black, washed-up, fat, old football player who had gotten himself kicked out of the NFL early in his career for doing drugs and using steroids. He used the last of his money to purchase the building and has been its landlord for the past twenty years. Peter had skillfully ducked and dodged Marty for weeks, until today; their game of cat and mouse was over.


I like Marty, it shows also why there is the need to get paid for a job real quick.

Suggestions
Oh crap, he caught me. What do I say and how the hell do I get out of this one? This line should be in italics since it is Peter thinking.

Final thoughts
Again, not much action but an important chapter to the whole story.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .