Hi Mr. Midnight , I found your writing at your request. Hopefully, this review will find you in good spirits.


On Title/Subject
Good title that fits the content where Jenny is found out as another bad guy.

General impressions
Another action-themed chapter. I loved its descriptions and the fight in the elevator.

Favorite Parts
The one with the gold-rimmed shades immediately caught his wrist, punched him with his own hand, and then slammed him hard into the side of the elevator. As this happened Jenny turned around, kneed him in the gut after the other Angry Twin punched him in the back. Then, with a little twist, Jenny hooked him right in the face. Peter dropped to the floor like a silly sack of potatoes.

Suggestions
Her nose crinkled (twice) in a few paragraphs. That's too much. Can you change this line to another one? I noticed that line and it distracted me from the content of the story.

Final thoughts
Action chapter, nicely done. The adventure continues.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .