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 Review #4567837 |
 | Fishing and Wishing  [13+] A Story-Poem Contest Entry  |
| (4.5)  Greetings, Mastiff! I am reviewing this because I am part of "I Write in 2020" .  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.What I Liked  I love your rhyming title, Fishing and Wishing I love your ending!  It's perfect. You have some great visuals, such as Trees bent back a bough, to reveal a bobcat! I had no trouble following the story and I rather enjoyed it!  Howling flowers, hissing rocks, and talking fish? I think you should take a gander at my newly revised "Writing 4 Kids Contest " ! Suggestions to Consider After reading through your story-poem the first time, I decided to read it aloud and still concluded that the meter is a bit off and inconsistent. It's close though!  And it wouldn't be too difficult to even out everything. Stanzas 5, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, & 13 had great rhythm and flow! So that leaves 1-4, 6 and 9 to whittle down a bit (if you choose, of course .) I found nothing else to offer suggestions on. Final Thoughts I noticed you placed 3rd in the contest! Congratulations!!! It's a fun piece and quite entertaining! You are a storyteller! Now go check out my "Writing 4 Kids Contest " .Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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