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Review #4568267
Viewing a review of:
 Nothing in Particular  [E]
Things passing in my head
by M0nsterRain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear M0nsterRain ,

It means you're disconnected. Example: When I'm reading text and something gives me a thought, I realize I've still been reading while thinking about something that took me away in another direction. Once this realization sets in, I have to go back and figure out where I drifted off. My brain is not capable of being in two places at once.

Here in "Nothing in Particular"  you have described a situation where hypothetically, and apparently commonly amongst us, we have looked into 'something' and then lost all memory of it, the thing. It begs questions: Is it a mirror? Could it be a painting? Might it be an event unfolding outside the window? You see, if you give context, a reader might better relate. You can give them a 'for instance'.

To me, this just explains so much about how we are becoming devoid of emotions, like dehumanizing zombies who roaming about, disconnected and overwhelmed by the world today, that we cannot connect with singular moments.

Another example: A person who watches a show on a screen who is also playing a game on their phone. I have three people like this in my house. I'm studying and analyzing away (visually) about the character's actions. I see them with their heads down and ask them if they saw it/that, could comment on it. There is no rewinding, just moving on. They are happy with distraction in a handheld box. This is the new movie experience. Why are more people not mugged or robbed everyday?

This is not how our brains were meant to be wired. It is not organic. It is unhealthy. I think these worlds we live in are dividing us. We turn to these worlds as if they contain all the correct information because it is immediate. But, in real time, we cannot look at an object and walk away with an experience or feeling.

You probably don't know how profound this simple statement sounds. It is not fleshed out. It does not take the idea further. It's just a 'did you every notice...' set up but without a punchline or tagline. You have an opportunity to give this functional statement more weight and fuller meaning. It is essentially your thesis/topic sentence. Why not build on it?

Oh, but I've done it. You probably have your own take, but maybe feeling a bit more informed? I hope that my review helps answer this poser and gives you fuel to write more. Do, write more. Let's see where this goes. And let me know. I'd like to come back and revisit.

thanks for sharing here in our community and keep writing,

Brian

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