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 Review #4568538 |
 Greetings, Kieran1998 }! I discovered this piece on the Read & Review page. I'm so glad I did!  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.What I Liked  You really have a flair for keeping the reader reading in this humorous piece! I thoroughly enjoyed it! Your sense of humor comes across so naturally! You have good storytelling skills. I loved the mother-daughter relationship. Although the mom grounded Bethany, Bethany tries to escape through the window and gets stuck. She finally calls for her mother for help and afterwards finds out her mom had the same thing happen to herself as a teen. The two have a good laugh and Bethany gets to go to the party. Such a nice story that put a smile on my face and had me chuckling.  A great ending!!! Absolutely loved it!Suggestions to Consider I have just a few easy-peasy-to-fix technical suggestions: Paragraph 7: peice of chocolate--> piece of chocolate Paragraph 16:that's really hurts --> that really hurts I noticed that you forgot to space between a few words here and there.  Final Thoughts What a joy to read!  Very refreshing, too. And again, I absolutely loved how you ended this. It was the perfect ending, for sure!Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 09/03/2020 @ 7:22pm EDT