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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4569340
Review #4569340
Viewing a review of:
 Cherish Now  [E]
Cherish Now, Remember Later
by fyn
Review of Cherish Now  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings, fyn! I am reviewing this because it came up in Random Reviews and it looked like something I might connect to. *Smile*


*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.


What I Liked

         *Bullet* I instantly connected to this! Wow, I could've written something similar, myself, though not nearly as in depth. This is great! *Wink*
         *Bullet* Your opening lines intrigued me:
Angry.
I want to spit blood
in the faces of brain-dead people

         *Bullet* I think my favorite is:
empty words through toothy smiles.
         *Bullet* You have so much to say and I agree with every bit of it! You've written a great message.


Suggestions to Consider

         *Bullet* In Stanza 1: and her Great-aunt *Right* and her great-aunt
         *Bullet* In Stanza 2: relying instead up his poor *Right* relying instead on his poor}


Final Thoughts

         I'm thinkin your were on a mission when you wrote this... perhaps recently having experienced such relatives or a dearly departed loved one another only pretended to care about. I've seen these people. I probably know such people. It's sad and sickening, indeed. I loved all your great advice on things like:

laughing heartily at the story
of when Grandpa Whomever did that what-ever-it-was
and who will laugh
the same at the umpteenth telling
as they did when it happened.


A truly great and wonderful piece of writing, Fyn! *Heart*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/06/2020 @ 11:57am EDT
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