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 Review #4570006 |
 Greetings, dassarthak! I discovered this piece on the Newbies Work List page. I also noticed you are brand new to WDC! Welcome! I hope you are enjoying the site! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.What I Liked  This piece reveals so much in so little words. It's one of those stories that stay with a reader, settling into their being for quite awhile. Alcohol has ruined many lives. Some people cannot control the amount they drink. It's sad and sometimes tragic. My mother-in-law had her nose broken when she was younger. She finally left her first husband, though never regained her sense of smell back. Alcohol isn't a bad thing (I drink it on ocassion!) but when misused, it doesn't do well for some people. And in this case--in your story--it definitely did not have a good outcome. You've written a somber piece here, a scenario that I'm sure has actually happened in the past and will happen again. It's heartbreaking. On a brighter note, I found no issues as far as typos go. It's a good, clean layout and presents itself well. Definitely not overwhelming, either. You've done a great job writing something short but with a punch (pardon the pun.) Very well done. You have a knack, for sureSuggestions to Consider My only suggestion (and it's mostly just an opinion) is in the beginning, I’ve been watching you. For minutes. Probably hours. You're avoiding me. This feels sort of choppy. If he's talking to Martha who is laying there, dead, I'm not sure that he'd begin with those words. Perhaps something like I do wish you'd stop avoiding me, Martha. I've been watching you, probably for hours. Or something similar. Just a consideration to think about.  Final Thoughts I keep thinking about this story, pondering over it, knowing that alcoholism is a disease. It's sometimes hard for people to grasp the addiction of alcohol, but I've witnessed it in my own father. He was not physically abusive, but could be verbally, though not always. It's a sad thing to watch... someone depending on it to get them through the day. Thanks for sharing this. It's one thing to be a good writer, and another to grab your audience. You've accomplished both. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You last responded to this review 09/20/2020 @ 3:32pm EDT