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 Review #4570140 |
| (4.0)  Greetings, Ckrose77! I discovered this piece on the Newbie Works List page. I also noticed you have been a new member for less than a month. Welcome! I hope you are enjoying the site! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.What I Liked  I really enjoyed this free verse poem about pressing on towards a spiritual awakening. The repetition of yet I press! and So I press! works well in this piece. Great rhythm and flow! No awkward areas at all. I liked your imagery, such as thorns reach out to tear my skin and the taste of dirt entertains my tongue. Very nice! Suggestions to Consider Line 1: an thorns reach  as thorns reach Line 3: My mouth dry My mouth is dry or My mouth, dry, Line 4: it's heavy rays its heavy rays It's is a contraction. Pronouns do not follow the apostrophe s rule. In Line 9, you switch from present tense to past tense. I looked up to You and gave it all. should be written in present. I look up to You and give it all. Final Thoughts I thought this poem was awesome! Great job! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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