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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4570571
Review #4570571
Viewing a review of:
 Ted  [18+]
Screams!!!
by Odessa Molinari
Review of Ted  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings, Odessa Molinari! I discovered this piece in Random Reviews and decided to review it. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

What I Liked

         *Bullet* *Shock2* Oh.My.Gosh. *Laugh* This is definitely a horror story, indeed. The annoying mother, the chubby baby, and Teddy the teddy bear who is evil!
         *Bullet* Great ending! It actually could not be better.
         *Bullet* The middle, of course, covers the teddy bear murdering the baby's mother. The baby tells Teddy to wait till tomorrow, but the stuffed bear cannot wait. The baby now is in a dilemma, since his mom provided him breast milk and is dead.

*Notev* Favorite line... Where was the human milk supplier when I needed her? I know I shouldn't laugh. *Laugh*

Suggestions to Consider

         *Bullet* Paragraph 4: "I've done what you wanted," teddy said *Right* "I've done what you wanted," Teddy said You might consider capitalizing the t in teddy
         *Bullet* I have no other suggestions. Great spelling, punctuation, grammar, and so on. *Smile*

Final Thoughts

         You did such a great job telling a horror story in only 361 words! It was creepy but with an ending that put a smile on my face. *Bigsmile* Great sense of humor in that last line. *Laugh*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/11/2020 @ 6:35am EDT
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