%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4571956 |
 | The prayer shawel  [E] A gift given a blessing received.  |
| (3.5)  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Hi Happy to write ! I found your poem with the "Read & Review" button and I'm happy I did! Welcome to Writing.Com!   This poem about a prayer shawl you received from a friend is lovely. I can tell you have a lot of love for the shawl as well as for your friendship. You even reveal this to the reader at the end of the piece where you say that the bigger blessing is the friendship. How sweet   I think this piece could benefit from a re-read with a critical eye toward repetition. There are quite a few times you repeat the same phrasing between lines, which can make the poem read a bit clunky. Taking a look at the whole poem with the repetition highlighted might help you visualize which instances of the repeat should stay and which ones you can safely rephrase. I also think you might be able to split some of the lines into more than one line to give the reader more room to breathe. Maybe this could also be enhanced with the addition of stanza breaks. It would make your poem significantly longer, but I don't think that's a bad thing  Don't hesitate to let me know if there is anything I can help you with! Again, welcome to Writing.Com!  Take care, Emily   "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" E: Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 09/19/2020 @ 12:57am EDT