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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4571982
Review #4571982
Viewing a review of:
 The Man at The Bus Stop  [13+]
TW: Mentions of attempted suicide. This is a poem based on a real-life experience I had.
by Gio Kingsbury
Review by Emily
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon"  *LeafO*


Hi Gio Kingsbury ! I saw you were new here, so I wanted to say hello! Welcome to Writing.Com! *Reading*

*StarO* Wow, this is a powerful poem. Very touching, heart-wrenching, and incredibly sad *Frown* The stanza breaks, line structure, word choice, and rhyme scheme all do a great job building the emotion you want the reader to experience. I was moved.

*StarG* The only edit I can find is just a small typo in this line: "Because you remind them of them of their deepest fears."

*Staro* The other short comments I have are just related to increasing the readability of your poem through smart formatting. I recommend increasing the font size from the standard size 3 to a size 4, or even size 5 depending on the length of the piece and the space it takes up on the page. Increasing the font size and even adding a font color will bring your piece to life and help it stand out from the rest of the wording on the site. This poem might also look great if it was centered on the page, but that is certainly personal preference.

*StarG* Let me know if there is anything I can help you with! Again, welcome to Writing.Com! *Reading*

Take care,
Emily

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/19/2020 @ 1:31pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4571982