Hello Again [E] Winner of Writer's Cramp 24Sep20 |
Greetings, , I am reviewing this today as a judge for "The Writer's Cramp" . Writer's Cramp Prompt: Howard Carpendale had a great hit in Germany with a song with the following title: Hello Again. Use it as your title, and start the second paragraph of your story with it. (bold for tomorrow's judge) For poets: You have to use it as your title and as start of your poem. First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. Visually appealing Easy to understand How did the writing make me feel? Did it invoke any emotions? I felt pulled in by this piece, surrounded by years of procrastination. I could feel the narrator's suffocation, too, and temptation of options, though in the end, preferring to at least have the freedom of his own prison. Can I relate to this? Yes! My neighbor, who is sixty, could have written this very piece! He claims, however, his ma burdened him by leaving him with a house on half an acre. He lifts not a finger to do any repairs. He will mow once in a while, but that's about it. So your poem drew me in as I related to him. Is there anything I would change within the writing? Not a thing. Great job! What did you like most? Did anything stand out? I especial liked... blindfolded windows and I prefer this prison over the other You have many great visuals in this piece and it sort of reminds me of the 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle I'm working on right now. There is disarray everywhere, which makes it interesting. The following image especially stood out to me: the backyard shed that leans 30 degrees to the east This piece is a wonderfully put together creation of a disordered life. Best of luck in the contest! Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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