An Angel Army Review:

Romantic Japanese poetry of this form is rare to find. These short forms are usually reserved to describe nature, however there are nature-type elements used in this piece "Love Haiku" . Tackling a subject like this to get the exposition just right can be tricky.

This poem seems to imply a love triangle, perhaps inspired by love's rejection in the first line. It could have been mutual, but 'hate' is a strong word in deciding to cool a relationship. But immediately, in short form, we are launched toward another when 'touched', which is vague. It could be an expression or something more physical than spiritual. We can only assume the latter.

The last line, 'love enflames our souls' can be inferred between the new couple. In a wild scenario, the couple in the first line could have gotten back together, because the interest in the second line informs the uncoupled partner of the first line/part. This is where it gets tricky for a reader. We can assume some things, but perhaps the point isn't concisely made.

The structure was right, following haiku syllable count. Use of fire symbolism is like nature, but I think it misses the true intention of haiku. It's to inform through nature how wisdom comes from life. This does have a moral of sorts. But, for subject it did not use enough imagery or sensory to connect a reader to subject.

If I may tackle this in a way that might illuminate what I mean. If you are to use nature to describe this:

Volcanic hearts chill
lava touch of another
erupts souls aflame

It's still difficult to differentiate the couples, even in this way. Wished I could work 'new' into that last line. Difficult subject to tackle in haiku. But, feel free to play around with that. The theme is good if you can draw out metaphors and images linked to nature to describe and relate the solution in summation.

Brian



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .