Hi Victory Seeker,
This is a fantastic story. The tone is formal. It suits the story and plot very well. The reader is wondering if Martha will help Jack improve his life. They will read to the last word to find out. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. In the story, a woman tries to help a homeless man and get him to open up to her. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.