Hi Jeff,
This is a wonderful piece. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what is actually in the piece. They are intrigued and will begin to read to find out more. You launch into the piece without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. You have written a mock advertisement of a product that will get you thrown out of funerals. The reader is delighted at the look they get at your personality and sense of humor as they read the piece. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)funeral.inc-Should read "Funeral Inc."

You use a formal, organized style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.