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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4616566
Review #4616566
Viewing a review of:
 "Dare I Dream?"  [E]
This is part of my play ADAMA & EVE, where Adama first sees Eve and loves her from afar...
by QuillMistress
Review of "Dare I Dream?"  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings from
"The WDC Angel Army


Hallo!
I visited your portfolio because you have a WdC anniversary this month.

These lyrics flow well, speaking of the timid hope of love. Many of your readers will relate to the hesitation, the dream and the question 'dare I?' Also, the comparison to where others are in their relationship and why the writer hasn't got there yet.

You say this is part of a larger work, a play.
I guess I'll be interested to see how it fits in - what happened before and after.

I have just a couple of small suggestions.
One is for the use of WritingML like font, size and center, and maybe color.
The other is for the chorus where you've rhymed 'me' with 'me' -- maybe you'd like to change one of those.

Write On!


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