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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4617138
Review #4617138
Viewing a review of:
 Spirits Snicker  [13+]
Alcoholism
by MyMindInRhyme
Review of Spirits Snicker  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Please note - any suggestions are my personal opinion.
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You really are good at this style of poetry.
This one tells the story of an alcoholic, once more, in very few words.
There's just one line I didn't understand - 'Argument winner' ... who won?

And -- er -- maybe the impact of the earlier 14 word poem was so great, that I feel this one, while good too, doesn't match that. I think shorter works better. Maybe if I'd read this one first, it would've had that punch. (It does have punch and deserves 5 stars, though.)

You know what happens when you write like this? You get the reader thinking up similar stuff.

Glass glitter
Money fritter
Does not deter

By the liter
Bottom hitter
Family's jitter

It's a sitter
Be a quitter!
That's neater!


*Rainbowl*Write On!*Rainbowr*
Sonali

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/01/2021 @ 7:36pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4617138