*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4625206
Review #4625206
Viewing a review of:
 
Journey  [E]
Don’t miss your chance when something important comes along
by poetryofmindseye
Review of Journey  
Review by Graywriter
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon*Boat2*


Hey, welcome to WdC. Here only a few days and you've done a poem and two reviews--way to go!

I see that this has six reviews with an average rating of five. For the entire site, the average rating is 4.48; reviewers treat the stars as a pat on the back to anyone who posts. So don't be upset at my rating.
 
STATIC
Gush Me No Gushes  (E)
Rant: Totally positive reviews don't help a writer grow.
#1823214 by Graywriter


My bias is to structured poetry (regular rhythm where the emphasis falls naturally on the stressed syllables of words, regular rhyme scheme).

This piece is partly structured, partly free verse. That's fine.

The rhythm is mostly regular, iambic dimeter  , though in the first verse, the stress would fall on the -ing of "warning" and "spreading", so there the rhythm breaks down. The last line of that stanza is iambic trimeter, which also confuses the rhythm. The irregular rhythm continues throughout.

I'm presuming from the title that "it" is "love", but why not say so? "Love calls to you..."

Your rhyme scheme is basically XAXAXXXX, where the second and fourth lines rhyme and the rest do not. This is an interesting pattern but you keep it consistent and although some of the rhymes strike me as a bit forced, IMO it works well overall.

Why on earth is Chance capitalized?

The main thing I enjoy about this is the gentle images and their overall flow that give a certain tranquility of mood. "Love is patient, love is kind..." and love allows you to laugh at the unknown.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/28/2021 @ 5:38pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4625206