I have a confession to make: I couldn't finish reading this. I tried, several times, and got as far as the fourth scene, but no further.

There are several reasons why I chose not to finish.

The first reason is physical: I found the formatting difficult. I'd much prefer double spacing, or single a space between paragraphs. That would make it so much easier. Nothing to do with your writing, just my old eyes. If you will redo this with spacing, I'll be happy to try again.

The second reason I found this piece difficult is that I found it confusing. Take the first sentence, which started reasonably well, a decent hook--until it got to and relish in a world free of paper because every Friday was Discount Day and that meant overwork and overtime This seemed out of context because the next sentence goes back to pancakes. It lacks coherence  . The fact that it's Friday etc. has no relevance at all to what's come so far.

Likewise, I found the hospital scene almost incomprehensible and incoherent. If your intention was to create a scene of bizarre confusion, you succeeded well, and I apologize--but I still found it hard to read and grasp. For example, after an unseen person speaks, "The bearded man walked inside." Should that not be "A bearded man..."? Oh, BTW, did you know you have the bearded man turning and walking away twice at the end of that scene?

A third reason: I suggest you take care with vocabulary. You wrote about a man with monocles (plural). A monocle   is always for one eye. Nobody wears two. Likewise, you wrote about "eclectic pipes". Was that a typo? If so, please edit. If not, please learn the meaning of that word.

To sum: a good opening sentence and perhaps some good scenes, if a bit incoherent, perhaps deliberately so. A whimsical theme: superpowers of some sort conveyed by holding a fork. A touch of sci-fi with reference to a Strontium Process. All with a definite need for a good edit and cleanup.

Please remember that a review is just one reviewer's opinion. While I believe that mine is an informed and educated opinion, I reserve the right to be completely and totally off-base.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .