#7

Hello, Eleanor

Ah, the wistful desire to take flight!

You are clearly working on colour imagery here, as well as the desire for freedom, and generally hit the mark with a multitude of clear, crisp images.

A few more careful word choices might strengthen the impact. For example, "at my fingertips" does not really go with the image of an arrow. Perhaps something like "the complete freedom to soar" would be more apropos. In another instance, "like a fly to the flames"--a compulsive death is hardly the image you want! Find a better simile, please. Finally, you had your hand on a balcony rail, so why are you drumming your fingers on a wall? Consistency will help build your mood.

One grammar note: alluringly is an adverb, stronger is an adjective. You need a noun in there, something like "its pull stronger than ever" or--since adverbs are evil  --"beckoned to me, its allure stronger..."

Overall, a lot of strength here that can be made stronger still with a little polish.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .